Monday, November 5, 2012

Paranormal Non-Activity

by Jennifer Harlow

Recently, when I was asked to share a true paranormal tale of my own, I was excited. “Should be easy,” I thought. “Everyone has one.” A house that creeks, TVs turning themselves off or on, reading another person’s thoughts. But after wracking my brain for hours I could not come up with a single, solitary memory where the paranormal touched my life. I guess I’m just too…*gulp* boring. Even ghosts avoid me.

I’ve always wanted to have a paranormal experience. I really have. Whenever people tell me about seeing a ghost or dreaming something then it actually coming true I have been pea green with envy. And I should have had one darn it. My uncle, my grandmother, and my brother have all seen ghosts. Often. I believe them because these are not people who would make this stuff up. In fact, when I asked them about these experiences, they would clam up. Deny it until I pried and pried, and they finally broke down. I mean I was always the one into the occult and paranormal, even considered becoming a parapsychologist, yet I have never had any brushes with the paranormal. It’s in my genes, damn it. Why couldn’t I have gotten the psychic gene instead of the weak ankles gene? Darn you, universe.

I wasn’t going to let my lack of latent preternatural antennae stop me from chasing the paranormal either. (Stubborn gene present and accounted for though.) I’ve walked around with an EMP meter and the gage didn’t jump. I’ve used a Ouija board countless times without the pointer moving a millimeter. I’ve read books on opening my consciousness and tapping inner psychic potential. No matter how many minutes of meditation I’ve attempted the only thing that opened was my mouth to yawn. (I so suck at meditation.) Heck, I even attempted witchcraft spells. The only thing that came from them was I had an awesome candle and herb collection for years. 

So I wish I had a paranormal tale to tell, I really do, but sad to admit there has been precious little magic in my life. Perhaps that’s why I, and so many others, are so drawn to the paranormal. Because we all need a little magic in our lives. To believe in something more than what our five senses reveal to us. That miracles are possible. People are capable of extraordinary, unexplained feats. That death is just a transformation from one form of energy to another. That there’s more to life than grocery shopping, work, and walking the dog. That one day something enchanting, something special will come into our lives be it a ghost, Bigfoot, or just the feeling you’re not alone in this universe. That’s worth chasing. Or just visiting a bookstore for.

What about you? Am I in the minority or have all of you all had a paranormal experience? If you haven’t, do you want to? Why?

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