Mem-ries

by G.M. Malliet

This is from a diary entry of mine of about five years ago—Autumn 2005. As it documents the ups and downs, and the inanities, of the unending struggle to stay motivated and get published, I thought I’d share it with you here.

I was still working full time, and fitting in the writing as best I could. Making up rules, and breaking promises to myself, as I went along. Being "good," and then backsliding. I am glad to see that I didn't really whine much--at least, not on this particular day. I'd been at it a long time and perhaps had learned that whining is a time-waster.

As I waited to hear back from people, I entered contests. I wrote short stories. I started and abandoned novels. I was rejected; I was accepted. Death of a Cozy Writer was finally published July 2008. 

An aside: The cat I mention turned out to belong to a neighbor, and was named Sybil. She turned out to be a little con artist who went from house to house, looking for handouts. Sybil passed away two years ago.

Yesterday was the Autumnal Equinox, a day of change and celebration. Deciding I liked the celebration part, and that I clearly needed a rest, I got my hair done (change) to gear up for the new regime. I will write until the day before the Winter Solstice. Three months, gearing up for 2006. It is said agents and editors don’t do anything at all, whatsoever, in November and December anyway.

     Now, all I have to decide is my method.

     Should it be the Dick Francis method: three pages a day, no matter what, handwritten? He used legal pads and the trick was, when he didn’t feel like writing, he would write as big as he liked. I think he had the right idea. You have to cheat sometimes. You just can’t let the cheating go on for longer than a day or two.

     So…off I go. Every day is writing day, and the work must be on my novel. Three pages a day. Somehow I have to squeeze the short story in here somewhere, too. Deadline for Zoetrope is Oct. 1.

     This morning, a little black and white cat dropped into our patio. Very friendly little thing, mewing for food or company, no collar, but it used to have one, you could see the indentation on its neck. I named it Equinox and fed it two bowls of milk.

     LATER

     I just got an email from the Debut Dagger people. My novel Death of a Cozy Writer is not among the 13 short-listed entrants. Big sigh; rock on.

     LATER

     I was going to give up my Wednesday night online writer’s chat room, but now I’m going into withdrawal. I really do get a lot done on those nights. It’s become a sacred ritual.

     It’s the rest of the week that’s a problem. Finding a balance is hard. Certainly writing one night a week is going to get me nowhere fast.

     I can think of a million reasons not to write, on any given day. The question is, how badly do I want to be published? Enough to work hard for it, and give up other things (like sleep) for it?

     LATER

     Incredibly, I am now into negative figures on the manuscript. Some of what I had in there was duplicated material. However, opening up the file and putting the story in order is the hard part. A good day.

Photo taken from news.therecord.com