The Worst Promotional Ideas Ever, by Jess Lourey

There are roughly 200,000 books published in the United States each year, and if you’re the author of one or more of those, you know what it’s like to be a dust mote. Those of you who are savvy take promotion into your own hands—setting up interviews and signings, buying trinkets to remind people of your book. I did that with May Day when it came out in 2006. I made a $1500 advance for that book and spent $3500 on t-shirts and book bags with the May Day book cover on them, color-changing pens with my name, ISBN, and my web address on them, postcards that I mailed to every library and independent mystery bookstore in the U.S., and, of course, bookmarks.

I’ve never read a book because I liked the bookmark or received a pen with the author’s name on it, but that didn’t stop me from salting the world with my paraphernalia. As new authors, we’re told we need to do that, in addition to starting a blog, setting up a blog tour, arranging booksignings, writing articles for publications, appearing on panels at conferences, etc. All this got me to thinking, what’s the most outrageous thing you’ve ever heard of an author doing to promote her/his novel?

I’ve seen authors give away homemade cookies next to the ballot box at a conference for which their book was up for an award, and I understand why they do it. You either draw attention to yourself or get drawn into the literary undertow. I committed my BSP faux pas in 2007. I was registered for Left Coast Crime, the conference at which the Lefty for best humorous novel is awarded. I considered which promotional items to bring but decided that instead of spending $1 apiece on a pen/bookmark/flashy candy combo, I’d cut to the chase and send any interested registered participant whose email I could easily track down a copy of my latest book. They were my target audience, so why mess around?

Because it’s tacky to send copies of your books to the people who are the judges for the awards for books (every LCC registrant gets to vote for the Lefty recipient). It looked like a bribe, and I got emails from two people who were deeply offended by my offer, and there were likely others who didn’t bother to tell me. I also got very kind emails and was nominated for a Lefty that year, but I’d never go that route again. I hate the feeling of offending others, accidentally or not.

My good friend, Chuck Zito, assured me that within a year my move would be christened the Half Lourey (the Full Lourey if you managed to get your book to everyone at the conference) and everybody would be doing it. I don’t think anyone is. Most authors I’ve met are decent people who don’t want to trod on other’s toes. But there’s always the few out there, and so, I ask you, what’s the worst promotional idea you’ve ever seen? No need to use names, but you can if you want. Oh, and any amazing effective promotional ideas that really work (no changing your name to Stephen Kink)? Our readers wouldn’t mind hearing about those, either.