Wedding Wrongs

By Deborah Sharp


I tied the knot 21 years ago, but I still remember the stress of wedding planning. Even so, the nuptial scene seems a lot nuttier today than it was back then.


I've been researching fun ideas to tie-in to this summer's launch of MAMA GETS HITCHED, the third book in my mystery series. It's opened my eyes to all the ways that weddings can go horribly (and, let's face it: amusingly) awry.


Turns out that getting married in modern times is a nightmare, y'all. And just like everything else in life today, the Internet is there to collect and catalog an infinite supply of weddings gone wrong. Etiquette Hell. Cakewrecks. TackyWeddings.


And don't get me started on YouTube. Sure, you'll see those cute, dancing-down-the-aisle clips, with good-looking, high-stepping bridal parties and guests. But those clips are outnumbered by far by bridesmaid catfights, bridezilla meltdowns, and drunken groom swear fests.


Lordy, lordy, people. It's supposed to be a Special Day. A Blessed Union. Can't we all just behave?

Funny thing is, I thought I'd gone over-the-top tacky writing the fifth trip down the aisle for my Mama character: A Gone with the Wind theme at the VFW hall, bridesmaids wearing five pounds of ruffles AND holding parasols, and a ring-bearing Pomeranian in a satin vest and top hat. Turns out I could have gone a WHOLE lot tackier, and still not been as tasteless as the ceremonies captured at White Trash Weddings.


Looks like Mama will have to trip down the aisle for Sacred Union No. 6, just so I can work into the wedding party a Rottweiler in a Rebel flag neckerchief and bridesmaids wearing camouflage.


How about you? Care to share any details from tacky weddings in your past? Horrible bridesmaid dresses? Drunken toasts by the best man? Tipsy bride nearly taking a tumble off the dock into the New River? (No, wait: That was MY wedding ...)