Tuesday, January 13, 2009

WEAPON OF CHOICE


A while back during a panel at a mystery conference, the question was asked, "What's your favorite weapon?"

The other writers called out the usual suspects --- shotguns, palm-sized automatics, poison, knives, even the disappearing icicle-knife --- all tools of the trade for a respectable mystery author. When the moderator got to me, all I could think of was "a toaster".

The audience looked bemused, the moderator scowled, and the other writers inched their chairs closer to each other. But since I'd just written a scene in which someone gets killed by a toaster (you'll have to read the book), it was top of mind. In my latest novel, Greasing The Piñata, there's a bipolar drug lord with sadistic tendencies who enjoys killing people with deadly animals. Cuddly buggers like scorpions, box jellyfish, and the nefarious candirú fish, which can swim up a man's --- well, you'll have to read the book.

Which might explain why a toaster seemed like a relatively safe bet, and also why my friends think I need therapy. But it does make me wonder, what's your weapon of choice?

7 comments:

Mark Terry said...

Actually, I got The Bourne Supremacy for my birthday and watched it Sunday afternoon. If you remember, Bourne rips open the gas lines to the apartment, pops the toaster down and shoves a newspaper into the toast slots. When the paper catches fire--boom! So maybe you're not that far off.

My character Derek Stillwater is an expert on biological and chemical weapons and terrorism, so my weapons of choice are usually genetically modified viruses or chemical nerve gases like Sarin or VX.

Keith Raffel said...

I think my favorite one in mysteries is in Dorothy Sayers' The Nine Tailors. What's a little tintinnabulation between friends (or enemies)?

G.M. Malliet said...

Some of my weapons of choice: a morning star and a Scottish dirk, one with ballocks. If you have to ask...

Jess Lourey said...

Tim, it makes ME wonder where you do your research.

I'm a passive aggressive poison fiend, myself.

Cricket McRae said...

In the mystery I'm writing right now, I bash my victim over the head with a half gallon glass jug of heavy cream.

Thank you Raconteurs.

G.M. Malliet said...

Makes sense. I can see where half-and-half might merely stun the victim.

This is a very strange profession.
:-0

Jess Lourey said...

Hahaha, Gin! You made me laugh out loud.