Renaissance Woman

By Jennifer Harlow

Work grounds me. It centers me, at least when it's not the cause of all the hell in my life. This month said hell is at the courtesy of moving so amid being on hold for over an hours (Really Comcast?!?), packing, spending more on getting my shit down to ATL than my entire car is worth, setting up utilities, researching new car and health insurance, and a trillion other little things, I needed a day to find shelter from my self-imposed shit storm.

So I taught myself how to make an e-book.

We're talking writing, editing, formatting, converting, even the fraking cover. I went mental.

Ever since Justice I've been haunting the Kindleboards forum to learn the ins and outs of the e-book world. There people like Hugh Howey bestow their considerable knowledge to us plebeians. Everything's there from the best editors, writers helping others with blurbs, the best practices, all of it. I cannot recommend this place more, even if you're a traditional author vs. hybrid like me (a foot in both traditional and indie publishing as Kindleboards told me). However, as much as I love it, the boards can be a bit soul crushing. Not from the people, they're all lovely, but what some of them advise to make any money. Namely if you want to become a full time writer you need a ton of luck, only write romance/Erotica/New Adult, and publish a new book or novella once a month. Yeah, you read that right. A NEW BOOK A MONTH. This year I'll have FOUR full length books out, two traditional and two indie. I was so proud of myself. No one besides those with ghostwriters (Patterson/Evanovitch) accomplish that in the traditional world. But in the indie world, I'm a slacker. And if I haven't disillusioned y'all enough, it cost about $1000 to get Justice made and marketed. I've made about 20% of that back. The lovely, successful indies mantra is "It's not a sprint, it's a marathon." Fair, but what if your shoes are falling apart and you're out of shape? What do you do then?

Anything you can.

On their advice, I'd been toying with releasing a "short," meaning a short story just to keep up The Galilee Falls visibility up because once a book has been released for 3 months, it falls off a "cliff" where it is basically banished to Siberia to make way for newer titles. And damned if when 3 months hit I went from about 60,000 (not terrible but not great, if my superheroes were into BDSM it'd probably be at a thousand, but there's always the next one) to currently 267,000 in the Kindle store. (Cue crying jag). Okay, I'm back from the land of self-pity where I am basically their queen.  Anyway, I needed to produce new material and apparently most of my FREAKS and Midnight Magic readers aren't into superheroes as the release of Death Takes a Holiday last month did nothing to raise sales. (Not a swipe at y'all, I swear. To each his own.) So something had to be done and that couldn't cost a thousand dollars. 

Enter the Kindleboards brigade, especially Joe Konrath's 8-hour challenge. Joe Konrath, for those who don't know, used to write the Jack Daniels mystery series, then went indie before it was cool and made a million dollars self-publishing his own stuff. He's a member of the "10 new things a year club" along with Lilianna Hart, Elle Casey, and Bella Andre. One night when Joe was drunk he decided to try and get something up on Amazon in under an hour. That included the content, formatting, and cover. That magnificent bastard succeeded. And he was surprised to find it sold a few copies in the first day even though he didn't publish it under his own name. So on his BLOG (another indie must read) he put out the challenge for us all to try it, but gave us 8 hours to do it all. I was in the throws of house crap so I didn't hear about this until after the contest was done (My timing always sucks!!!) but when I got crazed and needed an escape I decided to give it a try anyway. I sort of had the content in mind. A few blog posts I'd written for the blog tour, I could include the playlists, the first chapter of the next Galilee book, and a short story I'd written a million years ago then called "When Justin Met Joanna" (now entitled "Origins.") So, on content I was good. It was everything else where I was screwed.

But I had no fucking clue where to begin when it came to formatting and covers. I'd hired someone for those with Justice but couldn't in this case. So I had to learn these things, me who barely knows how to turn on a computer. Once again, hurrah for Kindleboards. People there led me to a program called Scrivener, which was not only a word processor a la Word but would also convert your stuff into EPUB and MOBI. I bought the sucker. Then spent my allotted eight hours screaming, crying, and smashing my computer in frustration when the converted files looked a hot mess. Formatting was either non-existent or cluttered. Whole portions were missing. But I am not a quitter. I am stubborn to a fault, I admit it, but in this case it paid off. I played around until finally it looked professional. Clean. I could now add "Knows how to format an e-book" to my list of not-that-useful skills for the real world. But I'd done it. And hopefully in the future I can repeat the process and save $200. Well see when I get around to Galilee Rising.

So, content? Check. Manuscript? Check. Now came the cover. Enter Photoshop. My mom wanted to make Memes last year so for Christmas Dad bought her the program. She was kind enough to let me install it on my computer and I began to learn it as well. Another 8 hours later (no this wasn't the same day, it was between all the moving bullshit) I had a basic understanding of filters, text, effects, etc. Then I started an account at Shutterstock. This is a site where you can get photos/illustrations/vectors (whatever those are) to use for your covers. There are literally millions to chose from. I found mine after a few more hours of searching, Photoshopped the hell out of it (another few hours) and added it to my MOBI file (another hour of trial and error), and up it went. 

Ta da! I give you...

So if you need a Galilee Falls fix, this should keep you until December. Only $.99. But in the end, this experiment may save me hundreds. I still might pay for covers but I can do the formatting myself. Now if I could only write ten books a year...

Anyway back to moving. Hope this post was helpful to all you newbies.

INKSPOT NEWS - September 14, 2013

From Thursday, September 19 - Sunday, September 22, several Midnight Ink authors will be appearing at the Bouchercon conference in Albany, NY. If you are attending, please stop by the following panels and signings to say hello!

Each night in the bar, some of the Midnight Ink authors will be ... well ... drinking in the bar.  Hope to see you! -- Ray Daniel, Jessie Chandler, Alice Loweecey, Colin Campbell, Catriona McPherson, Terri Nolan, G.M. Malliet, C.J. Carpenter

Thursday, September 19:

1:20—2:15 PM:  Panel in Room 6: You’re Only Human; Catriona McPherson

1:20 PM—2:15 PM:  Panel in Room 4: Storm Front; Terri Nolan

3:15— 4:00 PM:  Midnight Ink group signing at Mystery Mike's booth: Jessie Chandler, Pickle in the Middle Murder; Alice Loweecey, Veiled Threat; Colin Campbell, Jamaica Plain; Catriona McPherson, As She Left It; Terri Nolan, Burden of Truth

4:00 PM — 4:55 PM:  Panel in Room 4: No Man's Land - Breaking the Rules (Knox's 10 Commandments of Mystery Writing); G.M. Malliet

Friday, September 20:

9:30 —10:00 AM: Author's Choice in Room 5: Nuns and Cults and Shenanigans, Oh My!; Alice Loweecey

12:30 PM—1:25 PM:  Panel in Room 3: You Picked a Real Bad Time; Colin Campbell

1:30 PM:  G.M. Malliet signing in the Midnight Ink booth

1:50 PM—2:45 PM:  Panel in Room 2: Entertainer; Catriona McPherson

Saturday, September 21:

9:00 — 9:50 AM: Panel in Room 4: Streetlife Serenade: The Many Avenues of the PI, Alice Loweecey

10:20 AM—11:15 AM: Panel in Room 2: You May Be Right; Colin Campbell

3:10 PM—4:05 PM:  Panel in Room 7: Captain Jack; C.J. Carpenter, & Colin Campbell

Sunday, September 22:

9:00 AM—9:55 AM: Panel in Room 1: Don’t Ask Me Why; Jessie Chandler

Our Insta-Read Author Lists

Fall is upon us.  How do I know?  Not from the cool shadows, kids at the bus stop, or the chilly mornings.  I know it's fall because it's time to read another Lee Child book.

Lee Child is one of my insta-read authors.  Insta-read authors are a special breed.  They write it.  I read it.  Automatically and without question.  My insta-read list is short and includes Malcolm Gladwell, Michael Lewis and Steve Ulfelder.  Lee Child's latest release got me thinking about the insta-read list and the very personal process by which each of us create such a list.

There are many paths to the insta-read list.  For example fantasy readers often add an author to their insta-read list because they want to return to the world of the stories. When I was young I read Stephen R. Donaldson's Thomas Covenant books at one go because Covenant went back to The Land in every book and I wanted to go with him.   It was fun to go to a new place. Today, George R. R. Martin readers instantly read the next installment of the Game of Thrones, set in the land of Westeros.  The land is so important that the HBO TV series opens with a sweeping flyover of Westeros's map.

Mystery readers add authors to their insta-read list because they want to spend more time with the series character.  I was hooked on Spenser from the moment I read The Goldwulf Manuscript.  Today I'm hooked on Steve Ulfelder's character Conway Sax, Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum and, naturally, Lee Child's Jack Reacher.

Of course, setting and character don't explain how Malcolm Gladwell or Michael Lewis got onto my list.  They don't have a world or a main character.  They don't even have a specific area of expertise.  Michael Lewis has written about baseball, football, Silicon Valley, and Wall Street.   Malcolm Gladwell has written about fads, snap decisions, and society's influence on individual success. It's hard to predict the topic of their next books, but easy to predict that I'll read those books as soon as they come out.  Why?  Because I know that regardless of the topic these authors tell compelling stories about interesting topics using an excellent voice.  Consider the first line of Michael Lewis's The Blind Side

From the snap of the ball to the snap of the first bone is closer to four seconds than to five.

This is a voice that must be read instantly.

Ultimately, voice is the underpinning of my insta-read list.  Reading is a profoundly personal process in which I let someone insert words, thoughts, and emotions into my brain.  It's like signing up to live in The Matrix.  If I'm going to allow someone to fiddle with my neurons,  I want to them to do it in a way that fits smoothly into the neurons already there.  I want someone whose writing tickles the pleasure centers and makes me think, and I know that my insta-read authors get the job done.  

In a world where there are so many books and so little time, an author who gets the job done leaps to the top of our reading piles.

Speaking of reading piles, who are your insta-read authors?

Christmas All Year Long

My fourth Chloe Ellefson mystery, Heritage of Darkness, is soon hitting the bookshelves. Chloe Ellefson, my curator-protagonist, has traveled to Vesterheim Norwegian-American Museum in Iowa.

The book takes place during the first week of December, 1982. Chloe is asked to interview several elderly people about their Christmas traditions. Those traditions shape the plot. The book’s climactic scenes takes place against the backdrop of the museum’s annual Norwegian Christmas Weekend.

Several friends have wondered about the Christmas theme. Have I limited my audience? Will people want to read the book in July? Will Jewish readers be put-off?  Etc., etc.

I can’t help wondering why I haven’t ever gotten the similar questions in reverse. The first book in the series, Old World Murder, takes place in June; The Heirloom Murderstakes place in July; The Light Keeper’s Legacy takes place in September. No one’s ever asked if I’m worried that readers won’t want to read those books in winter.  No one’s suggested that the series is only of interest to Christian readers because Chloe was raised in the Lutheran church.

Perhaps it’s the specific holiday that prompts the question.  Are people in the mood for Christmas reading while sunning on a beach?  Will people who don’t observe Christmas be interested?

Obviously, I hope so.  What attracted me to this time and place is the wealth of heritage and traditions swirling around the holiday observances.

Photo courtesy Vesterheim Norwegian-American Museum.

Chloe discovers that some of the customs popular in Norwegian-American communities have roots that stretch far into the pagan past, when evil spirits roamed the skies during the darkest, coldest days of the year. Any humble peasant who dared venture forth was in danger, and people developed unique traditions as they tried to ward away evil.

Darkness, evil, fear…all pretty good stuff for a mystery writer!  I had great fun weaving some of the folklore into the plot.

So, what do you think? Are you careful to read books only “in season?” Do you mind reading books that touch on specific holidays? I’d love to hear your thoughts!

Want to learn more? You'll find lots of resources on the Heritage of Darkness page of my website.

Summer Treat

Hi guys.  It's great to be back at Inkspot on the day my Midnight Ink stand-alone AS SHE LEFT IT is published.  What a long and winding road!  But finally I get to make my little book a sandwich, check that it's got a clean hanky and send it off out into the world with a pat on the bottom and an almost soundless sob.

As you might guess from the jacket:

That Saturday was the hottest day yet, the hottest day ever, since records began.  Opal woke at five o’clockwith the sun already throbbing in at the bedroom window and the air still thick and damp from the heat of the day before.  She went for her bus and no one in the queue had a jacket over their arm or an umbrella folded up along the top of their handbag.  Everyone – even the men – was wearing sandals.  And out at the store two of the assistant managers were putting up parasols next to the doorway.  Round in the warehouse, Dave and a supervisor from Wet Fish were dragging an open-front chiller on a trolley towards the flap doors.

‘Email from Head Office,’ Dave said.    It’s going to the door for water.  We’ve to fill it with chipped ice off of Fish and hand out bottled water.’ 

‘Whole bottles,’ said the Wet Fish supervisor.  He was already in his white coat and trilby.  ‘Not like samples.  Not plastic beakers like a tasting.’

‘Because we asked them,’ Dave said.  ‘Whole bottles.  For free.’

That was the start of the day’s madness.  The barbecue hordes came early.  Usually it was gone eleven before they started drifting in, tattooed and topless, filling deep trolleys with charcoal and Polish lager, but that day the first of them arrived before nine and some of the very first bought all of the ice, then the later ones wanted to know where the chipped ice in the open front chiller by the door had come from and why couldn’t they get some too.  And one of the assistant managers had to be beeped to come and explain that it wasn’t edible ice and couldn’t be used in drinks, but then Charlotte had a mother complaining that one of the girls giving out the water had said to her little boy that he could have a scoop of it in his empty slushy-cup and he’d eaten the lot. 

And there was no cream in the dairy drop at ten o’clock – none at all – double, single, whipping, clotted, even Chantilly – and the UHT and aerosol ran out and after that everyone who had picked up strawberries on a twofer started putting them back again, only hardly anyone bothered to go back and dump them with the rest of the strawberries; they just shoved them onto the nearest shelf and the store started to fill up with cartons of sweating strawberries and Kate and Rhianne, detailed to seek them out and bring them home couldn’t do it because the warehouse boys had brought out more and there was nowhere to put them, so they got stickered down and piled up in Reduced but that only started the whole strawberries-cream-no-cream-no-strawberries cycle all over again until, as Rhianne said:

“I’m starting to recognise some of these buggers.  This is the third time I’ve moved the carton with that big one like Santa’s nose.’

We Have a Few Moments for Questions

By Deborah Sharp

Every author knows the questions he or she dreads hearing at book signings. This is one of my favorites:

Earnest Writer (EW): Could you read my 423-page novel? It's a romance between an alien and a human, it has a mystery, and there are flying dragons.

Stumped Author (SA): Uhhhh . . .

EW: And, here's the best part. It has multiple points of view because every character is equally important. All thirteen of them.

SA:  Uhhhh . . .

I'm happy to say very few questions from strangers are about terrible, overlong manuscripts crowded with characters no one would want to read about. I do get many thoughtful, interesting questions from engaged readers. And the answers don't involve me crushing their dreams of publishing fame and fortune, if only I'd  introduce them to my agent, write a letter of recommendation to my editor, and blurb their 423-page masterpiece.

But I have often wondered why readers rarely ask the things that authors talk about to one another. For example, here are 5 questions you'll hear around the bar or in the hotel lobby when authors get together at conferences:

1. How much weight do you gain when sitting on your butt for a year writing a book? 
About 7 and 1/2 pounds.

2. What kinds of things do you do when you know you should be writing?
Watch YouTube. Check my Facebook page. Eat (see the answer to No. 1, above)

3. What Amazon review did you hate most, and why? 
Luckily, I've received only a handful of the dreaded one-star reviews, but this one is my Amazon winner:
Pathetic! the review headline said. If you like ''Girlie Books,'' she writes for you. 
Here's the runner-up: I eventually finished this book, but it was a laborious task.

4. What well-known author is a big jerk?
While I won't mention names here (find me at the bar), I always tell this story about one of my first appearances as a panelist at a mystery conference. A Famous Author (FA) was on the same panel. I  approached FA in the hallway beforehand to introduce myself:
Me, Fan Girl: I'm thrilled we're going to be on the panel together. I really admire your work. .
FA: Oh, you''re the one who writes the funny series.
Me, beaming with pride: Yes, that's me. I write the Mace Bauer Mysteries.
FA, sneering: I HATE funny.

5. How often do people who never read and can barely write a sentence tell you they've always believed they could write a fabulous book?
Far more often than people with no mechanical aptitude tell their mechanics they could rebuild a car, or non-physicians inform their surgeons they've got the stuff to slice out an appendix.  In other words, all the frickin' time.

How about you? Is there a question you've always wanted to ask, but didn't? What weird questions do people ask you?

INKSPOT NEWS - September 7, 2013

Here are the new releases from Midnight Ink for September, 2013. They're all fantastic reads!

Grapes of Death by Joni Folger

"The characters are vivid, the plot is cleverly and coherently woven together, and the suspense builds up to a hair-raising [ending]."—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

In the Moors by Nina Milton

"Sabbie Dare is the most compelling protagonist I've met this year...Milton's tale is riveting."—LIBRARY JOURNAL (starred review)

Mama Gets Trashed by Deborah Sharp

"Readers will eagerly turn the pages [to solve this mystery]."—PUBLISHERS WEEKLY

Shotgun Moon by K. C. McRae

 "Shotgun Moon is easy on the ear and the eye—definitely an author and a character to watch out for."—CRAIG JOHNSON, AUTHOR OF THE WALT LONGMIRE SERIES

The Money Bird by Sheila Webster Boneham

"Equal parts mystery and dog appreciation, with a dash of romance thrown in for good measure, this second case for Janet and her pals...is accessible to fans of all three."—KIRKUS REVIEWS