Suddenly...

Inserting the element of surprise into a scene is crucial and yet some of the ways to introduce it strike me as phony. Phrases such as "just then," "all of a sudden," or "out of nowhere," smack of amateurism, and yet how else do we change the tempo and go for the startle factor?



I struggle with this as I create suspenseful scenes. I'll use one of the trite phrases and then rack my brain for ways to improve the writing, all the while keeping the shock and awe.




A sound can do it. "Bang!" The crack of gunfire. A ringing phone. The roar of an engine.



Employing phrases that are not so obvious can work as well, although sometimes when I reread things like Almost immediately or All at once, they grate on my ear. Am I just super picky?



Of course, surprise can be introduced almost matter-of-factly, and maybe that is the most powerful way to do it.



As I write this, I'm leafing through The Da Vinci Code for some illustrations for my point, when I come across this piece of narration on page 275:



A sudden movement behind him caught his attention. Out of nowhere, a crushing blow to the head knocked Langdon to his knees.



Out of nowhere? Hmmm. I don't think any of us would call Dan Brown an amateur.



What are your thoughts? Any tips to share on this topic? How do you transition to surprise?

The Unexpected Guest

by Nina Wright

In the middle of the night on a mist-shrouded country road, Michael Starkwedder runs his car into a ditch. When he goes to the nearest house for help, he finds a murdered man in a wheelchair and a woman holding a smoking gun.

That's the opening scene of Agatha Christie’s classic play, The Unexpected Guest, adapted as a novel by Charles Osbourne. No spoilers here, but suffice it to say that the action goes inside-out when Michael Starkwedder arrives.

Precisely what happens when unexpected guests appear on my pages. Even though I (attempt to) outline before drafting, characters I never saw coming invade my plays and novels. In response, I do the only thing I can: sit back and watch as they take over what I erroneously believed was my story.

Case in point: An Ann Arbor-based animal rights advocacy, Four Legs Good (a.k.a. Fleggers), blindsided me while I was drafting the second Whiskey Mattimoe mystery, Whiskey Straight Up. Founded by a veterinarian with a speech impediment and no sense of humor with humans, Fleggers has been shaping my plotlines ever since. Poor Whiskey still struggles with the term “anti-speciesist.” So do I.

Another case in point: A hunky Scot named MacArthur stunned me when he showed up in Chapter One of Whiskey and Water claiming to be a “cleaner.” His biz had nothing whatsoever to do with either yard work or maid service although he did pick up dog shit. You’d have to read the series to appreciate how much that pleased Whiskey. The cleaner revealed many talents, including a knack for erasing celebrity hijinks. And selling real estate. He's versatile enough to resurface in the book I’m writing now, Whiskey with a Twist. I wonder what he’ll do in this one.

Have unexpected guests changed the course of your fiction? If not, just wait. . . .